The World's Worst Webpage

[Monte Gardner]

Here's the situation:

I'm a part-time instructor at ITT. In about 2 weeks, I'm going to
start teaching a class titled 'web authoring and scripting'. I
figures that a fun yet interesting way to start the first day of class
would be with a counterexample site. That is, a site showing all the
wrong ways to build a website. I've got a start on this site, but I
would like some more input on what to put in.

Right now I'm focusing on 3 areas of bad web sites
- overblown marketing : I've got kind of the 'snake-oil salesman'
thing going on so far, with the exaggerated claims and ridiculous
allusions to scientific methods and proofs etc...

- Annoying 'catchy' stuff: Blinking text, highlighted text that isn't
links, constant font style changes, flashing images etc,etc.
Actually, I'm looking for one of those annoying "if this is blinking
you've won a prize!" type ads. Does anyone have a copy or a URL for
one of those?

- Poor coding practices: None of the HTML in this page is to be
standardized at all. I'm using the old-style 'all caps' tags, little
or no quoting of attributes, improperly nested tags, tables nested 2
or 3 layers deep etc. I'm also going to include lots of proprietary
markup (<blink><marque e> etc..)

- Confusing intermingling of structure and style - I'm using no CSS,
and all the formatting tags (<font><b><I><b link> etc..). There
will be no <h1> <h2> or anything like that, it will all be like
"<p><b><fon t color = red size = 3>Buy Now!!!</b></font>" -- you get
the picture.

- Lack of indentation in the source code - The source html code will
be as unreadable as I can make it while still being able to add to it
as I go. Long lines of text and lack of proper indentation etc.

Anyway, you can see what I've got so far at
http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

Any feedback as to how I can make this page 'worse' would be greatly
appreciated.

[Inger Helene Falch-Jacobsen]

Monte Gardner wrote:

Here's the situation:

I'm a part-time instructor at ITT. In about 2 weeks, I'm going to
start teaching a class titled 'web authoring and scripting'. I
figures that a fun yet interesting way to start the first day of class
would be with a counterexample site. That is, a site showing all the
wrong ways to build a website. I've got a start on this site, but I
would like some more input on what to put in.
http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

Any feedback as to how I can make this page 'worse' would be greatly
appreciated.

Your page is too neat and tidy. I couldn't find a
single spelling error. You need to add more strong
colors, frames and a search engine that doesn't
work. Some Flash and a few applets are good.
A few hints collcted here:
http://home.no.net/ingernet/links.php#How
--
Inger Helene Falch-Jacobsen
http://home.online.no/~ingerfaj/

[Darin McGrew]

Monte Gardner <Mo***********@ asu.edu> wrote:

http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

Any feedback as to how I can make this page 'worse' would be greatly
appreciated.

Hmmm...

You could add a few links, open them in new windows, and make sure they
break when JavaScript is disabled/unavailable, or when the user tries to
open them in new windows normally (e.g., with shift-click).

Since it's a demo page, you could add a blurb like

This site uses Xyzzy Wizzifier v3.14. Download it NOW!

Maybe a redirection to an "upgrade to MSIE 5.0" page is in order.

Images of text with no ALT text? Frames? Even more horizontal scrolling?
Microfonts?
--
Darin McGrew, mc****@stanford alumni.org, http://www.rahul.net/mcgrew/
Web Design Group, da***@htmlhelp. com, http://www.HTMLHelp.com/

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark." - Steven Wright

[Kris]

In article <ee************ **************@ posting.google. com>,
Mo***********@a su.edu (Monte Gardner) wrote:

I'm a part-time instructor at ITT. In about 2 weeks, I'm going to
start teaching a class titled 'web authoring and scripting'. I
figures that a fun yet interesting way to start the first day of class
would be with a counterexample site. That is, a site showing all the
wrong ways to build a website. I've got a start on this site, but I
would like some more input on what to put in.
[..]
- Poor coding practices: None of the HTML in this page is to be
standardized at all. I'm using the old-style 'all caps' tags, little
or no quoting of attributes, improperly nested tags, tables nested 2
or 3 layers deep etc. I'm also going to include lots of proprietary
markup (<blink><marque e> etc..)
You may want to tell them that any table layout is bad practice, but
that because of IE the only correct alternative is a steep learning
curve. In my book, it is ok when people use a table for layout when they
are (still) unable to do any better.

[..]
Anyway, you can see what I've got so far at
http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

Any feedback as to how I can make this page 'worse' would be greatly
appreciated.

- Specify no character encoding, or a proprietary one, like
windows-1252. Character encoding may however be a bit hard to understand
for a beginner.

- Use bad alternative text on images, like "Loading.." or "Green dot
with red line sticking out".

- Open links automatically in new windows, preferrably without informing
the visitor at all.

--
Kris
<kr*******@xs4a ll.netherlands> (nl)

[Kris]

In article <ee************ **************@ posting.google. com>,
Mo***********@a su.edu (Monte Gardner) wrote:

Anyway, you can see what I've got so far at
http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

Any feedback as to how I can make this page 'worse' would be greatly
appreciated.

- A JavaScript that pops up when the visitor leaves the page, demanding
they spend more time and disallows them to leave. Spawn the site in a
new window when the visitor closes the application.

- Make butterflies or stars follow the cursor. Make sure the script is
so badly written that it grinds the PC to a halt.

- Make the window shake for a full minute.

- Use noisy background images that clash with the foreground and make
the text unreadable.

- Try to prevent the visitor from viewing the page's source. Attempt to
disable the right mouse button altogether and punish the visitor when he
tries to use it anyway. (argh, no more of those butterflies!!)

--
Kris
<kr*******@xs4a ll.netherlands> (nl)

[Harlan Messinger]

"Monte Gardner" <Mo***********@ asu.edu> wrote in message
news:ee******** *************** ***@posting.goo gle.com...

[snip]

Anyway, you can see what I've got so far at
http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

Any feedback as to how I can make this page 'worse' would be greatly
appreciated.

Music. There must be background music. Annoying, loud, tinny music.
Preferably the Chicken Dance.

I notice (or hope) that the "before" and "after" pictures of the woman are
reversed, by the way.

[Kris]

In article <30************ *@uni-berlin.de>,
"Harlan Messinger" <h.*********@co mcast.net> wrote:

Anyway, you can see what I've got so far at
http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

Any feedback as to how I can make this page 'worse' would be greatly
appreciated.

Music. There must be background music. Annoying, loud, tinny music.
Preferably the Chicken Dance.

The only thing worse than a soundtrack on a webpage would be.. two of
them. Simultaneously.

--
Kris
<kr*******@xs4a ll.netherlands> (nl)

[Leif K-Brooks]

Kris wrote:

In my book, it is ok when people use a table for layout when they are
(still) unable to do any better.

"In my book, it is ok when doctors use kitchen knives for surgery when
they are (still) unable to do any better."

[Kris]

In article <30************ *@uni-berlin.de>,
Leif K-Brooks <eu*****@ecritt ers.biz> wrote:

Kris wrote:

In my book, it is ok when people use a table for layout when they are
(still) unable to do any better.

"In my book, it is ok when doctors use kitchen knives for surgery when
they are (still) unable to do any better."

When stranded in the jungle and the only thing you have with you is a
kitchen knive, yeah. It is a jungle out there. I try people to show them
the way out of it, though.

--
Kris
<kr*******@xs4a ll.netherlands> (nl)

[John Dunlop]

Monte Gardner wrote:

a site showing all the wrong ways to build a website.
[ ... ]
http://www.gardnerweb.org/badExample

'Loose weight', which torments the participants of
m.f.weights, is a nice touch. MFWers wouldn't hesitate to
contribute more jargon and material of a humourous though
politically incorrect nature.

Cheers!

--
Jock