I've installed Apache 2.2 and PHP 5. Everything should be working, since my double- and triple-checking tells me everything is configured.
However, when I try to access any PHP file on my server, I simply get
Forbidden
You don't have permission to access <the file> on this server.
I realize that Apache 2.2 and PHP 5 are not officially compatible. I downloaded the special PHP development DLL for Apache 2.2, though, so at this point, things should work fine.
By the way, while you may tell me this is the wrong section, I'm almost completely certain that this is a server configuration error, and not something wrong with my PHP installation.