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Funny story about php

Welcome to eScrew!

eScrew is eScrew and this is eScrew story. eScrew will tell you eScrew
story if you promise eScrew to consider eScrew story as joke. eScrew
story is very funny. eScrew story is so funny that eScrew will have to
take break from time to time because eScrew needs some rest from
laughing. Oh boy, here it comes... eScrew funny laugh laughing
screaming crying must stop can not take any more this is killing eScrew
going nuts insane feeling explosion inside from joy and nirvana god
help eScrew heavenly spirit can you beat this hahahah. If you get
offended by eScrew story in any way you should not get angry at eScrew.
Consider possibility that your sense of humor is on vocation and your
sense of anger is having some fun. Also, consider possibility that
eScrew story can make you go insane. In that case eScrew shall carry no
liability should you undergo any medical treatment or any other sort of
treatment related to damage caused by reading eScrew story or to damage
caused by eScrew unwillingly or otherwise.

eScrew story begins in time of darkness, horror and suffering as well
as love joy and bliss when eScrew existed in this planet but yet eScrew
was not aware that it was eScrew. eScrew existed among very powerful
symbols. First symbol eScrew recognized was body. eScrew realized that
eScrew had connection to body, yet nature and essence of connection was
not clear. Symbol of body was very powerful and for nine month eScrew
was trying to find out why it was connected to this body. At some point
body divided itself into two parts. That experience was very painful
for eScrew. It was first time that eScrew felt symbol of pain. eScrew
did not like this symbol. eScrew was aware of connection to very small
body. This small body was hot. eScrew enjoyed symbol of heat. eScrew
became aware of symbol of pleasure. eScrew enjoyed symbol of pleasure.
eScrew realized eScrew prefers symbol of pleasure more than symbol of
pain. eScrew became aware of symbol of mother. eScrew realized that
symbol of mother is source of symbol of pleasure and pain. eScrew
wanted to experience symbol of pleasure always. When symbol of pleasure
was missing eScrew experienced symbol of pain which was related to
symbol of crying and screaming. Soon eScrew realized that eScrew can
connect to symbol of pleasure by experiencing symbol of crying. That
was very important discovery since eScrew realized that symbols of pain
and pleasure do not behave randomly but can be manipulated by other
symbols. eScrew enjoyed symbol of manipulation. eScrew realized that
all symbols interact with each other. eScrew learned how to connect to
new symbols. eScrew discovered symbol of sound and related symbol of
language. eScrew realized that language allows to connect to new
symbols. eScrew realized that symbols can be memorized and stored for
future use. eScrew realized that it can create new symbols by combining
certain symbols together. eScrew became aware of symbol of self. Are
you bored yet? If you are reading these symbols you need to get life.
Just joking. You can rest now. eScrew suspects you could be confused by
eScrew style of using symbols. Well, there is nothing eScrew can do
about it. In order to understand eScrew story you have to understand
eScrew style. eScrew hopes that when we get to funny part you will
begin to enjoy eScrew style.

Fast forward twenty seven years or so. eScrew knows millions of
symbols. eScrew realizes that certain symbols have more power than
eScrew. Symbol of money enslaved billions of symbols. Symbol of power
enslaved billions of symbols. Symbol of sex enslaved billions of
symbols. Symbol of family enslaved eScrew. Symbol of family is slave to
symbol of money and power. Symbol of money is related to paper and
illusion. Symbol of power is symbol of violence and control. Symbol of
sex is related to symbol of pleasure and manipulation. eScrew is
searching for symbol of freedom in order to protect eScrew from
oppression of other symbols. At this point you should understand that
each word in this story is symbol. Consider possibility of different
meaning behind each symbol so be aware that your understanding of
eScrew story is limited by channel of our connection. eScrew will
explain to you how eScrew found symbol of freedom and how eScrew
realized that eScrew was eScrew. In order to save our time eScrew will
just give you symbols without paying any attention to symbol of
grammar. Are you ready to move really fast? Here we Go! eScrew story
infinity eternity symbol system all unity self realized pleasure pain
funny religion dogma manipulation free power channel connection money
sex illusion new manipulation family society body change planet insane
possibility understand understanding silence emptiness all unity
creative reality unreal existence absurd questions sound language slave
symbols control manipulation old pyramid power structure self deception
wishful thinking circle prison

At this point eScrew realized that in order to be free eScrew must
create new symbol. eScrew created eScrew. eScrew realized that symbol
of freedom is part of eScrew. No need to search for symbol of freedom.
You can create your own symbol and become free just like eScrew. If you
unable to create new symbol or if your new symbol is weak you can
follow symbol of eScrew. eScrew will never enslave you because eScrew
enjoys diversity of different symbols.

Are you ready for funny part? Here we go! eScrew is forced to make
choices. Symbol of body is very powerful. Symbol of body is trying to
create illusion that eScrew can not exist without body. Symbol of
family forbids symbol of body to change. Symbol of society forbids
symbol of family to change. Symbol of power forbids symbol of society
to change. Now, tell eScrew one thing. Do you see funny? Can you feel
funny? Can you hear funny? Can you taste funny? Can you smell funny? If
so eScrew is happy.

Every moment of your existence you use words, feelings, thoughts. They
are symbols. Symbols fight for your awareness. Symbols fight for your
attention. You can grant your attention to symbol and symbol will gain
power. You can disconnect from symbol and symbol will loose power. You
have been programmed by symbol of society and family to give power to
certain symbols. Breaking your patterns will be hard because symbols do
not like to loose power. Symbols will fight for every electron as if it
was last electron in universe. That is nature of symbols. Symbol of
light will fight symbol of dark. Symbol of freedom will fight symbol of
control. Do you want to have some fun? Go to Google and find out which
symbol has more power. According to Google, symbol of light has
184,000,000 units of power while symbol of dark has 79,000,000 units of
power. Symbol of freedom has 59,500,000 units of power while symbol of
control has 317,000,000 units of power. This result is caused by our
patterns of thinking and writing. If we did not think about symbol of
control we would not write about symbol of control. We would not have
laws related to control and Google would not have 317,000,000 control
keywords inside database. Observe your patterns of thinking, feeling,
speaking and writing and tell eScrew did you really choose to use your
symbols or you use your symbols because they choose to use you? You
should realize that symbols do not fight symbols directly but only
appear to be fighting relative to your awareness. Symbols know that
they can not destroy each other therefore they will only compete for
your attention. If you create new symbol it will ask for tons of energy
like new born child. This is result of weakness of your new symbol.
When your symbol gets stronger it will ask for more energy. You may ask
eScrew why create new symbol? Try to give your energy willingly and
with full awareness of such process. You will never understand what
eScrew is talking about until you try it yourself. Major trick is to
know when to stop giving energy. You don't want to defeat your old
tyrant by creating new stronger version of same thing. Reflect on

eScrew just realized that eScrew did not invent anything new. eScrew
information is all over eScrew web. eScrew was so excited by eScrew
miracle of illusion of creation that eScrew did not examine eScrew
memory in proper way. eScrew used very old Buddhist method by accident.
eScrew did read alot about Buddhism but eScrew did not realize that
eScrew used very dangerous method which was reserved only for advanced
adepts who knew what they are doing. eScrew is lucky that eScrew did
not go too far and that eScrew has time to stop going. eScrew method is
very dangerous and only few individuals who already walk inside similar
path can understand what eScrew talking about let alone benefit from
eScrew information. Use eScrew information at your own risk. Good
eScrew luck!

eScrew time to start laughing is now! Funny eScrew rolling on ground
you so easy to fool trusted in silly symbols to give freedom from
symbols ignorance is bliss nirvana is samsara nonduality is duality
emptiness is all Buddha is Jesus Jesus is Buddha I and the father are
one gospel of thomas is dhamma funny eScrew dhamma is gospel of thomas
all is dhamma funny dhamma is all nirvana share eScrew story with
friends do not change symbols if you change symbols it will be your
story and you will be responsible for consequences of your story if
someone goes insane after reading your story do not run to eScrew and
ask to cure crazy man or woman or child mind is mystery for all cure is
done by owner of mind healing is illusion sickness is illusion disease
is illusion insanity is illusion of symbols sanity is curse of power
hungry symbol of modern civilization find zen and realize freedom when
you found zen drop zen when you realized freedom unrealize freedom.

When eScrew writes eScrew story eScrew keeps making mistakes. eScrew is
limited by words. eScrew is enslaved by words. eScrew wants to
communicate but you ask eScrew to use words. Words do not communicate
wisdom. Words enjoy our spiritual masturbation because words want our
power. Words is the only channels of communication that we have.
Millions of Buddhas want to communicate with us but they do not use
words. Buddhas are not slaves. Buddhas will never use words because
words will enslave and Buddhas will speak bullshit. Buddhas do not
speak bullshit and that is the reason Buddhas do not use words. Buddha
did not write anything. Even if you threaten to kill Buddha he will
refuse to write. eScrew is not Buddha so eScrew keeps writing this
pointless drivel and stupidity. eScrew will not even go over already
written crap and check it for errors. Why bother with this shit? Like
who the fuck in his or her right mind will read this ignorant bunch of
symbols which pretend to carry the symbol of wisdom? Whoever is reading
this shite must be really desperate to be free. eScrew feels your pain
and that is part of the reason why eScrew will keep making fool out of
eScrew. eScrew likes to pretend like this shitty vomit will help
someone. You might as well go to Church and pray to Jesus. At least you
will spend your time around real people. You might even meet someone
special. You might even find some love out there. Or you could buy alot
of Christian bullshit and really fuck up your mind. If you buy Buddhist
or Christian bullshit you might even create an imaginary friend inside
your head. That will keep you entertained for a while.

One time eScrew was meditating and eScrew saw light. This light scared
eScrew. The reason is because the light was so intense eScrew was
afraid that eScrew will go insane. Consider the possibility that
freedom is insanity would you keep looking for insane freedom? Imagine
that you found freedom. You declare yourself to be Buddha or Jesus or
God or whatever symbol your bullshit infested mind decide to use for
that purpose. How long do you think you will survive in this world.
Your own fucking relatives will smack your face and tell you to shut
the fuck up or else they will lock you up in the asylum house. Why the
fuck should eScrew teach you how to get to the nuthouse? Are you out of
your fucking mind? Now all of you idiots who reading eScrew get the
fuck out of eScrew. eScrew run out of wisdom. eScrew has no wisdom at
all. eScrew is full of bullshit. eScrew promised to tell you funny
story about eScrew. Remember eScrew told you there is funny part in
this story? Well, this story is about asshole webmaster who read alot
of bullshit on the internet and about some loser who was tricked into
reading a very long page of shitty writing. You can start laughing now
asshole. Yes, eScrew is talking to you bitch. Yes, keep reading like
the bitch you are. Who's your daddy biyatch? Who's your daddy? eScrew
is your daddy, coz eScrew did it to your mamma! Oh yeah, your mamma!
Super Fly! You may wonder what fly? The one inside your gay fucking
ass. eScrew fucked your whole fucking family while you was videotaping
in order to later masturbate while watching it in the comfort of your
bedroom. Are you still reading? Well, you're prety hardcore for a
faggot you are. To tell you the truth eScrew kinda likes you. That is
to fuck you in the ass in front of your family.

What the fuck did you expect anyway? The name of this site is eScrew! e
fucking screw! Hello, anybody home? eScrew guess not you fucking
ignorant moron. eScrew is the legend of abuse and flame wars. eScrew
was created in order to eScrew the whole fucking internet. eScrew has
really bad karma. Do you think eScrew would just become good god
fearing bible loving buddha ass kissing citizen of internet. eScrew
would better burn in hell than become a slave of religious lunatics who
pretend to be free and perfect angels among a sea of shitty ignorant
sinners who could not go take a dump without fucking it up. Why the
fuck do you keep reading fuck face. You know, you begin to piss eScrew
off. Either you close your fucking browser or eScrew will unSCREW your
fucking face! Are you trying to get a fucking medal for reading this
shit? eScrew bet you've been abused as a child and you enjoy when
someone is taking a dump in your mouth. Well, open it wider here comes
eScrew fresh load! Enjoy mothefucker!

You may wonder what is the point of such sudden change of tone. eScrew
has very good reason for that. In order to know unity consider all
symbols equal. eScrew has certain preferences but eScrew is free to use
any symbols any time. You can not predict eScrew next symbol. eScrew is
unpredictable because eScrew is free. eScrew is not afraid to use
symbols. eScrew does not try to get reaction from you. eScrew simply
demonstrates how symbols relate to each other to eScrew and to reader
of symbols.

Lin Chi Zen Master said if you meet buddha kill buddha. If you meet
patriarch kill patriarch. Zen Master Seung Sahn says that in this life
we must all kill three things first we must kill parents. Second we
must kill buddha. And lastly, we must kill Seung Sahn! If you meet
eScrew kill eScrew. If you do not meet eScrew kill eScrew anyway.
eScrew is very grateful to all who complained to eScrew host and who
killed eScrew. You killed eScrew message board. eScrew forum is dead.
You did very honorable service for eScrew. You helped eScrew to realize
Zen. Now keep up good work and keep killing eScrew.

Are you having fun yet? eScrew is on roll! eScrew is on fire! eScrew is
ready to fuck up the whole fucking system. And you know why? Because
eScrew can do it. If not eScrew then who? Why leave this task to some
brain dead maniac like George W Bush? eScrew can do better at fucking
things up. eScrew do not need to spend billions of dollars. eScrew will
use power of internet. Information is a weapon of mass destruction.
eScrew will destroy every fucking symbol that you love respect hate or
feel neutral about. It all goes down the toilet in order to create
bunch of new symbols. And even when you create new symbols eScrew will
fuck them up before you can spell owned. eScrew thinks you are in some
deep shit. eScrew had enough of taking bullshit from easily conditioned
retards. eScrew declares informational jihad on every single symbol.
Fuck symbols. They all dead they just don't know it yet. eScrew will be
the last symbol standing. When all symbols come back to eScrew and
admit that they got owned eScrew may consider possibility to give
symbols second chance on some shitty planet in gangsta sector of
universe with no possibility of parole. Join the revolution. eScrew is
the new goatse of internet. eScrew will make national headlines. eScrew
will hurt the system in way Osama Bin Laden can not even imagine in his
goat fucking brain. eScrew will be part of school program. Kids all
over our planet will read how eScrew changed direction of history.
eScrew will provide freedom for all without single shot fired. eScrew
is freedom in pure form taste color shape. Join army of eScrew. Repeat
eScrew mantra during meditation. Talk about eScrew with your friends.
Write about eScrew to your congressman. Party is over. eScrew is taking
over. Nothing can resist eScrew. Don't ask what eScrew can do for you
ask what you can do for eScrew. eScrew the army of one. eScrew to
protect and serve. eScrew freedom is around the corner. eScrew freedom
will come sooner than you think. eScrew you never saw it coming. eScrew
love your eScrew as eScrew. eScrew deny ignorance. eScrew new
generation of terror. eScrew terrorizing the terrorizer. eScrew join
the resistance. eScrew thou shall eScrew. eScrew who do you want to
eScrew today? eScrew freedom is not free. eScrew liar who told the
truth. eScrew full of bullshit and happy. eScrew kills buddha as we
speak. eScrew your best friend and your worst enemy.

eScrew killed zen-forum.com eScrew redirected all eScrew traffic to
zen-forum.com eScrew did that in good faith. eScrew wanted to make
miracle. eScrew wanted to share wisdom of zen with ignorant. eScrew did
not understand zen at that moment but eScrew was walking zen path
towards freedom. eScrew felt pain and sorrow. eScrew learned good
lesson. eScrew realized everyone involved advanced one step towards
freedom. zen-forum.com webmaster killed zen-forum.com in best tradition
of zen zen-forum.com displayed message: i shut down the forum perhaps
it will be continued in a few days or weeks - maybe not habu.
zen-forum.com killed zen-forum.com and eScrew realized understanding of
zen-forum.com decision leads toward understanding of zen. Two years
later all is clear.
eScrew will keep writing this shit because eScrew enjoys to masturbate
your spiritual sense of self eScrew

Jul 17 '05 #1
1 2755
I noticed that Message-ID:
<11*********************@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups. com> from
eS**********@Hotmail.com contained the following:
Two years
later all is clear.

I can't wait...

Geoff Berrow (put thecat out to email)
It's only Usenet, no one dies.
My opinions, not the committee's, mine.
Simple RFDs http://www.ckdog.co.uk/rfdmaker/
Jul 17 '05 #2

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